GROUNDED THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS

I sit here typing these first few words, hitting the keyboard hard, fuming at the constant, endearing effort and love I have put aside to record you all a beautiful video only to have it interrupted every single time by my three-year-old: 8 pm, 9 pm, 10 pm, 11 pm for several nights in a row now feeling defeated and hopeless. My hair today was every so slightly crunching from this morning's snorkelling adventures with my older girls, and I vainly wanted to flaunt my mermaid locks at you all, giving this recording one more attempt feeling fine as fuck. So instead, I am sitting here, typing. In contrast, my husband patiently sits on the end of our bed overseeing the tantrums, ensuring she is safe as her tantrums can get quite full on, slamming, throwing and all kinds of tornado-style chaos. We are chalk and cheese, my partner and I truly he is a fucking saint. He spends hours sitting there, waiting for her to calm down, get a hug, and eventually pass out.

I am unsure if it is the Christmas excitement, the tree, the presents, her growing brain and general exhaustion, perhaps all of these, who knows. So here I am, typing while she screams in the background, refusing to go to bed one more night. In some uncanny way, this is how most of us feel this time of year, overstimulated, anxious, exhausted and confused. Knowing we have to spend time with people we can't stand or with those who smother us.

It is the time of Solstice, a time in both hemispheres when we honour the light, the light returning in one and the light diminishing in the other. This is a time for reflection - seeing where the light needs to shine in all areas of your life. This is a time for most western traditions we know as the holiday season, a time when work stops, we step back from commitments, school is off, and the year is coming to its end.

Soon enough, we may see and hear a flooding of so-called resolutions and intentions for the coming year, something I have never felt comfortable participating in. Recently I discovered that the etymology of the word resolution means to melt back into a liquid. So when we think of the word resolution we are contemplating something to be melting back into itself. As this year draws to a close, we can see this true definition as: What do I want to come back into itself - to be reformed?

What is melting back into a liquid for you?

Beliefs...

ways of seeing the world...

internal components...

external also...

During this time of year, communication often seems shaky, hostile, short, disrespectful and rigid. This is a time to be very clear on your boundaries and reevaluate if it's been some time. As mentioned in my Art of Boundaries workshop (literally the best-selling workshop I have ever done, who would have thought): Boundaries are our own personal limits. They allow us to have space between another person and ourselves. They are the foundation of healthy relationships. Boundaries are our divine right. One of the most frequent comments I receive is how guilty someone feels when placing boundaries. I gently remind them that it is not guilt they are experiencing but instead facing their codependence conditioning. When we've been raised in homes with codependency, we believe that we are responsible for the emotional states of others.

YOU CAN NOT CONTROL HOW SOMEONE ELSE REACTS TO YOUR BOUNDARY. IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MOTHER THEIR REACTION.

A boundary is a limit that you enforce to express what is ok and what is not. It is the spoken rule of what your unique internal compass is expressing, a hard yes or a hard no. There is no in-between. This inner compass only says yes or no. So give yourself the time to check in and sit with something before leaping to please and ignite codependency. Boundaries are never to control another's behaviour, and remember that generosity can not exist without boundaries.

**If you want to know more about boundaries, I am offering 'The Art of Boundaries', a three-hour workshop half price for this week. No code is needed.

I wanted to share this meditation with you all that is so wonderful to do at the time of Solstice, especially with the melting back into oneself, re-solution of the new year. It is a beautiful practice that honours the full cycle of life from birth, life, and death to rebirth. Something we all may feel like doing after this year... You can watch the video by clicking here no password is needed.

Thank you, my beautiful Behind the Veil community. I am so grateful to you for being here, supporting me and wanting to hear my thoughts, my musings and the practices I have to share. I am forever humbled to be walking this path with you and can not wait to show you what is coming in early 2023. You, of course, will be the first to know, it's a lot, and I can't wait. Alessia and I will be taking some much-needed time off between the Christmas and New Year period so we can get these juicy new offerings up and running. From both of us thank you for helping support our dreams to come and stay alive. Words truly are the most powerful of mediums.

Until then, I send you all our love and the most restorative break.

In love,

Brooke & Alessia x